Parents Can Build Self-Confidence in Kids
Adults—especially moms and dads—can greatly impact the level of confidence of kids. The things parent’s say and the way they say them, the comparisons they make, the encouragement they give can help children love themselves, try new things and be their best.
Here are some tips from family counselor Helen Williams on empowering kids to “go confidently in the direction of their dreams”:
Don't make comparisons.
Comparisons between children are odious at the best of times. A child can be quickly undermined if she feels she is being compared with a sibling or friend. Self-acceptance is a large component of self-confidence.
Try not to undermine her ability.
Even in simple play, parents often unknowingly undermine their children. Simply saying, "Here, let me do that for you," can be enough to squash a child's inner confidence. Suggest instead, "Can you see another way you could try that?"
Encourage social interaction.
Regular contact with other children and their families is a great way of developing self-confidence in social situations. Remember to mirror for your child confidence and ease with others.
Be consistent.
A child with strong, familiar boundaries has more opportunities for self-confidence as she is exposed to fewer fearful situations.
Follow routines.
Regular, consistent, dependable routines encourage confidence in everyday life.
Regular, safe exposure to new situations
Introduce your child to different and unfamiliar playground, walks, and people. Encourage her to explore. Take part in different sports, musical activities, interests.
Explain, educate, talk, listen.
Communicate your feelings, hopes, fears and dreams. Help your child to discuss her feelings with you rather than to push them down or away. Teach her to say "I feel sad, mad, happy, good, etc."
Encourage, praise, comment, support, cheer.
Every night tell your child something great that you noticed about her that day.
"I really liked the way you helped your mother set the table, played with your sister, read your story, etc."
Allow her to work with you as you cook, clean, garden and do household chores. It is especially important for fathers to remember to allow and encourage their children to work alongside them.
Play with your child a lot.
This sends the direct message to your child that she is valued and loved.
Give your child responsibilities.
Even very young children thrive on a position of responsibility. They can fetch, put away, tidy, clean, pack up. As they grow, write out chore charts for your children.
Hug your children often.
Warm, loving, family touch feeds self confidence.
Visit the Parenting area of the Confidence Corner to find more helpful tips and resources.
Check back soon for more on parenting and confidence-building.